Reflections on my Birthday


This week I marked off another year in my life story. I was reflecting on where I have been and where I am going. Am I happy with how I lived my life this last year? Am I accomplishing the goals I had set forth at the beginning of this year?

Thanks to my accountability partner and my husband I have made great strides on my goals. Of course there are things that I would like to improve on like spending more time in the Word and spending more down time with my husband. But over all I am happy with what I have accomplished this year. I am making progress!

This year I have also experienced one of the toughest battles I have faced in my life. It was one of those battles that shook me to my core. There were days when I didn’t know what the next step would be, but through it all I have learned so much about myself and God.

Things I have learned:

  1. My confidence in God to get me through anything has increased.
  2. My faith in God turning all things for good is strong.
  3. My gratitude for God supplying me with everything that I need is overflowing.
  4. I am a lot stronger than I thought. Or to put it another way, I think I am finally learning some valuable lessons and actually changing my habits into godly ones.
  5. I AM willing to do anything God calls me to do, even when the going gets tough. Even if I don’t make all the right choices, my heart is finally willing to try to do whatever it takes.

Last month I taught in Children’s Church about the prophet Isaiah. Isaiah’s response to seeing heaven struck me. After he experienced heaven he said, “It’s all over! I’m doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, The Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” Isaiah 6:5

Isaiah thought he was going to die. He saw heaven and realized He was not good enough to be there. I’m sure many of us would have the same response. At times all of us have felt unworthy of the calling God has placed on our live. But what God did next was beautiful.

He showed Isaiah that He was willing to take all his guilt and sins away. Isaiah was forgiven! Praise God, now our sins can be forgiven too. God sent His son to die for us so that we too are no longer sinners, but we are redeemed and made holy through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Next Isaiah’s response has so affected me, that I can not stop thinking about it. After showing Isaiah heaven and then showing him the precious gift of forgiveness, God asked a very important question:

“Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” Isaiah 6:8a

Isaiah’s simple but profound response was, “Here I am. Send me.” Isaiah 6:8b

Isaiah knew he was not worthy of this calling. He understood that he was not good enough. However he accepted the free gift of forgiveness and had confidence that with God he could do all that God has asked him to do. He was willing.

I desperately want to do God’s will. I know I am not good enough or know enough or have it all together. But I am willing. I am willing to try and fail. I want to be led by the Spirit, because I have learned the hard way that my opinion doesn’t really matter, and a lot of the time it is not fully correct or even slightly correct. I have learned that God does know best and He is so willing to share all of His wisdom and knowledge with us if we take the time to listen. I am also learning that God graciously sets us up for success, not failure. He purposefully equips us to handle everything that comes our way. We just have to be observant enough to accept those tools and learn those lessons.

Are you willing to be sent by God? I am making great strides towards being 100% willing, but it is still a daily decision. One birthday, I hope to look back at the year and realize my second nature is to serve the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love all of my neighbors as myself.  Let’s get to that state of mind together!

What has helped you be more willing?  More willing to serve others and to fully surrender to God?  We’d love to know.

Another post you may like:

Roller Coaster

OPL: Willing

Photo credit:

5 thoughts on “Reflections on my Birthday

  1. What a great insight into the awesomeness of heaven. I will meditate on that for a while!

    1. Dana says:

      Pastor Phil, I pray God reminded you of some ways He has provided for you over the last year and it gave you extra strength to keep going.

  2. Jacob Larkin says:

    “Let a man set his heart only on doing the will of God and he is instantly free.” – A.W. Tozer

    I read this awesome quote today and thought of this lovely post!!! I am becoming more willing because I’m able to see more and more the ways God is setting me up for success like you mentioned which spurs me onward and reinvigorates me! Thankful for those God has put in my life to point out HOW he is providing when I am about to lose heart!! I loved your reminder that we have to be observant enough to see what He is doing because when we really realize it is HIM providing each step of the way we will realize He’s GOT US!!!

    1. Jacob Larkin says:

      That was actually Ruth typing from my hubby’s computer 🙂 🙂

    2. Dana says:

      Thanks for sharing Ruth. Great Tozer quote! If we take the time, it is amazing to realize how much God provides! He never leaves us empty. He always provides exactly what we need!

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