This will be my last post of helpful tips that I have learned from moving. Today’s topic: Recalculating. I don’t know how many times I had to readjust, add to, subtract from, or completely throw out my plan for the week as I packed us up and moved. This was a very growing experience for me. I have finally learned to realize that life is unpredictable and I have to be willing to adjust to what it throws at me. Hopefully this lesson sticks this time! 🙂 Being required to readjust every couple of hours definitely stretched me in new ways!
I suppose we did make things more complicated than they needed to be in this move. We had a wall built, new bedroom doors put in and our pantry expanded in our new house. This was all supposed to be done before we officially moved in, but we all know how construction goes and because of a few snags it took 4 extra days. Once we got moved to the new house we immediately painted the bedrooms and kitchen and replaced most of the carpet in the old house. Plus some other fixes throughout the house. Lets just say managing projects at two houses was not fun!
Maintaining Marriage Through Chaos
Moving, new baby, new job, new sports season, really any life change can send you, your marriage and your family into a tailspin if you are not careful. I am thankful for my husband and his leadership over the years. He has dedicated time for us to talk and learn how to communicate better and serve each other better. Because of this our marriage was maintained during these 2 months of craziness.
Here are some things that we put into place to protect our marriage from decline:
- Make sure you have daily or at least every other day “game plan talks.” Figure out who is doing what and what is to be accomplished that day.
- Express your list of priorities and then listen to your spouse’s list. If they don’t line up, figure out how to make them work together.
- Make sure you state the obvious. Statements like, “I know this is a lot of work, thank-you for working so hard for us.” or “Wow, you got a lot done today, thanks!” or “Can I help you in any way today?” will do wonders for the mental state of your spouse. Even if you know, and they know that you know…say it!
- Give yourself permission to have a day off. Just sit and snuggle with your spouse or do a fun, relaxing activity together. Remember that people are more important than to-do lists. The to-do list will always be there.
- Do not neglect your quiet time with the Lord. Make sure you are praying and reading your Bible. You will need this time to carry you through the day!
- Have designated safe zone: places where you can put things that are not in danger of getting packed or thrown away. This will avoid frustrations and annoyances.
- Make sure you are getting enough sleep. You will be mentally and physically tired from all the work, make sure you are giving your body enough time to recoup and go at it another day.
- MAKE time for intimacy!!! If you let this slide, due to busyness, fatigue or other things on the priority list then your marriage will quickly and most definitely suffer. Our belief is the quality of your intimacy is very closely correlated with the quality of your marriage. Just do it!
- Don’t take things too seriously. Laugh at the craziness!
- Pay attention. Do what needs to be done to keep your marriage going strong and staying intact. If one starts to pull away, stop what you are doing and figure out a way to reconnect and work as a team. Sometimes we will say, “I don’t feel connected.” So then we will drop what we are doing and reconnect.
Whether you are moving or going through another kind of stressful time it is so important to be watching and making sure that your marriage is thriving and causing you to grow towards your spouse and not away. Keep recalculating!!! Do not give Satan any kind of foothold that could put a dent in your marriage. Together you can accomplish anything, just make sure you are heading towards the same goal and you will get through the challenges!