A couple years ago while driving to my in-laws we stopped at a gas station to get gas. I had to nurse our youngest so Nate decided to go to the bathroom since we were just sitting there until I was done. He asked me if I wanted anything. A snack sounded like a good idea and I would have liked something, but I couldn’t figure out what was the perfect treat. I informed him that I didn’t know and flashed a flirty little smile that I hoped would express the thought of “surprise me.” He walked off and I dreamed that he would come back with this amazing snack because he “knows me so well.”
Then I thought “Oh no, I don’t even know what I want, so how in the world is he going to figure out what I want?” If he could read my mind he would be so confused because it was going in all different directions… coffee, chocolate, sweet, fruity, flavored water, juice….
Well, he came back with….nothing.
Huh. I was slightly bummed because he normally takes these opportunities to make me happy. As I sat there I had another conversation in my head. “I can’t be mad at him for not getting me a snack. He asked me and I was not able to answer. I can’t be upset that he couldn’t figure out what I wanted if I couldn’t even figure out what I wanted.”
After a while I told him about the conversations in my head – I’ve found that it is sometimes helpful to do that – and he said he was glad that I wasn’t mad at him. He went on to explain that he figured I would like peanut M&Ms, and looked everywhere for them, but they were out.
Peanut M&Ms! Oh, now I really couldn’t be mad at him! He tried to get me something, and he was right! I would have loved that snack! He does know me better than I know myself. : )
It did get me to thinking about how we as women can get the idea in our head that it would be so romantic if our husbands just knew us. We wouldn’t have to tell him when we needed help solving a problem, or would like flowers, or have dinner brought home, the light fixed, be given a word of encouragement, a listening ear, back massage or just a hug. The problem is that half of the time we don’t know what is bothering us, frustrating us or leaving a void in our heart.
Instead of getting mad at him for not meeting our needs, maybe we should take the time to figure out what would fill that need and then share it with him. Communicate. Doing this will set him up for success, fulfill your need and not leave room for Satan to plant doubt about his love for you. Sure, when he surprises you out of the blue it is definitely a lot of fun, but let’s not make it too hard for him!