“I quit!” “I’m done!” “I can’t handle this for a second longer!!”
Have you thought these? Said them? Or even made them your philosophy on life??
I have been there more times than I care to admit. A mom’s job is never done, right? There is always something that needs to be done: laundry, dishes, picking up, dishes, vacuuming, picking up, dishes, dusting, cleaning the bathroom…did I say dishes? I have found myself at times in a dark place of self-defeat. “I cannot accomplish anything. I am a failure!” These are the lies that play over and over in my head. As I look around there are things left and right that my eyes see as proof that I have indeed failed at wifehood and motherhood. I just feel like giving up. Why do dishes? As soon as I am finished there is another stack waiting for me. Why do laundry? Unless we all walk around naked for days this task will never be completed. Clean the bathtub? What? We are supposed to do that too? It is pointless, I can never get ahead. When these thoughts start creeping in it only leads to nothing good. But what can I do, I’m exhausted?!
One night, I was lying in bed and I had had it. I was done. I was mad and I wanted to run away. Thankfully I didn’t, and instead I chose to do what I should have done the first moment these thoughts started coming into my mind. I ran to God. I got up out of bed and went down to our living room. My emotions were out of control. As I sat there crying out to God, pouring out all my frustrations and struggles, He met me.
The Hymn The Solid Rock came to mind:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the ‘whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
It is not in the pile of dishes, or the loads of laundry or the dust on the tables that we stand. It is solely on Christ that we need to stand. He is our foundation. If we are not standing on Him, we will disappear into the sinking sand that is around us. We have to keep our focus on God and not on our surroundings. They will bury us alive if that is how we judge our purpose in this life. Just like Peter when God told Him to walk on water. Peter walked on water until he took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on his surroundings, which happened to be the waves that were ready to overtake him.
We cannot focus on the daunting tasks at hand – we need to focus on God’s calling on our lives. It is to love and care for our husband and children. Of course, there are some aspects of that calling that are fun, and some that are not so fun! But if we do them, keeping our focus on God, we will have the strength to stand and not sink.
Other verses that have helped me to stay focused:
1 Corinthians 15:58 (NLT)
If songs minister to you, “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North is a great one to listen to.