As I was thinking about love not being rude this week, I started to ponder if rudeness is a trait we are born with or that we have learned. Selfishness is one that we are born with – just watch toddlers play together in the room. “Mine” mentality typically is seen throughout. But rudeness….I think, is something that you learn. Think about it. Think about the last time that you talked to your child about how they said something rude to someone else. Typically it isn’t the words that they have said that are wrong, but the way they have said it. It has a certain ring about it that just didn’t settle right.
Now that you have an example in your mind, ask yourself this simple question: Have you ever said something to them in that same exact tone of voice? Some of the time, my answer is yes, and unfortunately I can often think of a time where I have used that same tone that very same day.
“Just a minute”
“Wait a second”
“Not right now”
“I need you to go play right now”
All of these responses, if not used correctly, can easily be spoken with rudeness. Again all of these statements are okay and sometimes necessary to say as long as they are spoken in love and not annoyance or frustration. We have to keep in mind that all of the words spoken from our mouth should be building the other person up, not tearing them down. The words should be encouraging them to do better, not leaving them feeling like they are a disappointment or a burden.
As a mom we need to realize that we set the tone of the home. When we see negative patterns persisting in our homes, we need to evaluate what type of model we are to those around us. How do we respond to our children and our husbands? Are we showing our children what it looks like to respect our husbands? Are we modeling how our loving Father treats us or are we displaying conditional love that is based on their performance?
The best cure for rudeness that I have found is spending 5 minutes every morning with my Heavenly Father. It allows me to seek His face and ask Him to keep my priorities in check. As I commit my day’s plan to Him, I am better equipped to keep a proper perspective on the day. Then I am more able to love unconditionally and speak loving, gently and kind words to my husband and kids.
What are ways that you have found to help cure rudeness in your house?
This week’s assignments:
1.) Evaluate the environment of your home. Do your children speak kindly to each other? How do you greet your husband when he gets home from work? No home is perfect all the time, but are you happy with your evaluation? List a few ways that you can begin to model the correct tone of voice in your home.
2.) Do you feel depleted? A lot of times my rudeness comes out when I am not full of love myself. Do you need your joy restored? How about your peace? Evaluate your own life and ask God to show you what it missing. Then seek out scriptures that can restore that joy, hope or peace. If you are at a loss at where to begin, ask a trusted friend or pastor or shoot us an email.
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